


The Other Side of Fascination

by SheepOh



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: (bit of), Bored Jim, First Kiss, M/M, Masturbation, Pining Kirk, Spock being a bad Vulcan, Vulcan Kiss, Vulcan Mind Melds, mindmelds, shoreleave, they in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 19:58:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10043744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheepOh/pseuds/SheepOh
Summary: Jim is bored out of his mind on shore leave. Luckily, for him Spock decides to check on him exactly as he is, ahem, thinking of him but Spock gets a little too curious about Jim's sate of mind.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As always, my eternal thanks to [TidesAndMoons](http://tidesandmoons.tumblr.com/) for her betaing and for always answering my questions even when I somehow manage to take over 6 months writing tiny fics, and also for coming up with this title.

James Kirk was bored, awfully so. He was on shore leave, one he had truly deserved, but he was bored. Oh, he had enjoyed it, at first. He had slept for hours in his overly luxurious bed, had eaten about everything Bones would usually forbid, had lounged around his cabin and outside in the sun, had drank in front of the fire, ... but, all this done, he was now bored. Four days had been plenty enough to relax. There were still ten more ahead of him and trust the doctor to not let him beam aboard his ship until they were over. Not that the Enterprise was anywhere near. It was currently docked at a Star base many star systems away. Minor repairs and recalibration being were made on it as most of the crew enjoyed a few days off, including Spock, though Spock's idea of shore leave was attending as many conferences as he could. He had cited the importance of keeping himself up to date with new technologies and discoveries as the Enterprise's science officer when he'd shared his plans with both his friends. Bones had ,of course, scoffed at him, but Jim had smiled, fondly, and wished him to enjoy himself, which had earned him the Vulcan's infamous ''Humans are strange and come entirely to the wrong conclusions'' eyebrow raise.

Kirk had thought of asking Spock to spend shore leave with him, or a part of it, but hadn't dared. He now regretted it deeply.

Not only was he bored, he actually missed his first officer, he realised. He was so used to having him by his side at almost all times that going a few days without him felt wrong.

He could comm him, he'd thought about it, but then what would he say? "I miss you"? " I want to see you"? "We really shouldn't take separate shore leaves"? Or simply "I'm bored"? None of this sounded right to say to Spock. The last thing he wanted to do was burden the Vulcan. He instead lay in his bed and in his feelings, letting them wash over him.

He reminisced, first, about looks exchanged and casual conversations on the bridge, then about late night chess games and subtle smiles. Slowly, he could, that way, replicate how he felt anytime he was around his first officer. Being a part of his environment, Spock's presence brought him the contentment of being home, of things being in their rightful places, but he also couldn't help but be tense around him, always having to keep himself in check, not surrender to the pull he felt, the desire to be closer still. He couldn't actually spend his shifts right next to him, looking over his shoulder, nor holding nor touching him. He couldn't hold him nor touch him ever, anyway, a tragedy, if you asked him. Sometimes, he did slip but he was very proud that it never exceeded the daily squeeze of an arm or shoulder. Sometimes, rare times that he remembered as precious treasures, it was Spock who did. Granted, when it was Spock who touched him, it was because there were no other way to quickly get his attention or pull him out of harms way but the feelings it inspired were the same.

Spock touching him...that was a nice train of thought.

He could see him in his mind's eye grasping his biceps roughly, pushing their lips together, teeth and tongues clashing.

He let out a hum of satisfaction.

Noticing a stirring in his pants, he decided opening them before they became too tight was the best course of action. His body had found something for him to do and, well, it sounded good to him. Masturbating to fantasies of his first officer was something Kirk tried to avoid as much as possible back on the Enterprise, but being on his own here meant he wouldn't have to face him too soon. There was no risk of him being awkward in front of the Vulcan nor of him picking up on it. He had an unfortunate way of observing his Captain's states of mind and getting curious about them.

Jim, his cock comfortably out of any clothing and a hand wrapped around its base, focused on his fantasy.

He imagined Spock's lips and tongue on his neck, then himself biting on those ridiculously elegant pointed ears. He could see hands grasping at shoulders and necks and waists. Then, he could see sweaty bodies gliding together and cocks, red or green tinged, sliding against each other and long fingers wrapping around both, tugging as he did.

He was groaning as he imagined the sound coming from thin lips sliding up and down his shaft, dark feral eyes looking in his as he splayed his chubbier fingers in black, perfectly trimmed, hair and mussed them in pleasure.

Now, both his hands stimulating him, cock and balls, he could feel his orgasm approaching. He picked up the rhythm, still imagining Spock in about all and any position he knew of, until he came, the Vulcan's image in his mind and his name on his lips.

He barely had time to get his breath back that his comm signal chimed, making him jump in surprise and out of his haze.

''Incoming transmission from Commander Spock'', the computer announced.

''Put it through in here," he groaned, hastily tucking himself back in as he went to sit in front of the desk terminal.

''Captain''

''Mr Spock'', he answered plastering the best grin he could muster after awkwardly clearing his throat. His pants were still unfastened but carefully hidden under the desk and he'd managed to stop fidgeting with them before the image had come on, avoiding making dubious movements in front of his first officer. ''To what do I owe the pleasure?''

''The conference has ended and I thought I should let you know I am now available shall you require my assistance.''

''Your assistance?''

''Well, sir, I do not know you to be the kind of man to ''relax'' for long periods of time...''

''Are you telling me you were worried I might get bored?'', Jim asked, amused.

''You have put yourself in dangerous situations when you had not ben sufficiently stimulated in the past. As your first officer, it is my duty to ensure you are safe.''

''Ah, I see, keeping me out of trouble. Well, I am getting bored alone in here.''

''Shall I join you?''

''Didn't you have other conferences you wanted to attend after this one?'', he asked, startled.

''None specific to my work or interests. I would welcome an occasion to find an occupation for the reminder of our leave.''

''Well then, I'll be waiting for you.'', Kirk said, hope and relief flooding through him.

''I believe, if I take the next transport I will be there in approximately one point seventy three hours.''

''Approximately.''

''Yes.'', Spock answered with a non smile, bringing one to Jim's lips.

  
Kirk wished him a safe trip before they disconnected. He really ought to make himself presentable, he thought, looking down at himself, barely tucked in and still feeling sticky. He needed a shower first, then a change of clothes. After that, he'd quickly clean up what he'd left lying around the house in the past few days. There wasn't much. He was generally pretty tidy and had gotten so bored that even doing the dishes had sounded fun.

He tried not to think of what he'd done, what he'd thought right before Spock had commed.

A little more than an hour and a half later, a hover car stopped in front of the now sparkling clean cabin.

He came out to greet his guest with a bright smile, one he nearly let falter in awe when he saw him getting his luggage out, the setting sun shining slightly on his hair and back. He recovered quickly and called out his name. He helped him get his things inside , making small talk while they did.

As they stepped in, an aroma of spices and warm vegetables greeted them and Kirk rushed to its source fearing it'd overcook.

''I thought you might be hungry so I made us dinner. It's vegan.'', he announced.

''It has an interesting smell. I believe I will enjoy it. Thank you.''

The table had already been set so Spock sat as his captain served them both.

They ate companionably, catching each other up to what they'd been up to in their free time. It was mostly Spock explaining in lengths the conference he'd attended, not that Kirk minded one bit. He had missed hearing his voice.

Throughout the meal, Spock felt Kirk's full attention on him, his gazes, somehow heavier than usual. This brought out his curious nature and he allowed himself to tune his telepathic abilities to Kirk's feelings. He usually avoided doing this, as it was considered a breach of privacy and Vulcans value privacy greatly,but allowed it to himself this time. He was simply trying to ensure the well-being of his captain, which was part of his duty and purely logical, of course.

Understanding other's emotions without their knowledge was never easy. They came jumbled, all mixed with one another and there was no way to single out any to study them more closely without raising suspicion.

Jim was broadcasting mostly warm feelings like contentment and camaraderie but a thin cloud of shame, no embarrassment, veiled another one, preventing Spock from seeing it. It seemed to be a vibrant and strong one, one that was less passive than the others. He was careful to answer Jim's questions , trying not to let on what he was doing, as he tried to get closer to the mysterious feeling. It had piqued his easily awakened curiosity. He had been known from a very young age to conveniently forget security measures when means to satisfy it presented themselves. He had managed to give his mother a few near heart attacks as a child, as he discovered fauna, flora and sometimes cultures present on Vulcan or any other planet he accompanied his parents to.

The easiest way to understand an emotion was to slowly let it flow to him. Instead of seeing it, which would require Jim lifting his guard over it, it meant touching just a small part of it through the holes in his walls. Such were inevitable in beings who only rarely practiced guarding their minds. From there, he would bring a sample of the emotion, a bit like a needle extracting fluid from a cell or like pulling a small thread from a cloth. As it gathered on his side, Spock let himself feel it. He felt his heart beat more purposefully, his vision focusing on Jim, he imagined his pupils must have dilated, his body temperature elevated, his mouth dried. He was able to match it to something he had felt before, and had worked so very hard to contain and meditate away. Surprised, Spock pulled it closer, seeking a better look at it, a better feel for it.

Almost instantly, Jim startled and looked up from his meal , directly at him, cocking his head in a question. He deposited his utensils on each side of his plate and focused. He focused inwardly, on the thoughts floating at the surface of his mind, then on his emotions, trying to find an intruder, a presence among them. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. His thoughts and emotions were clear, solid and immovable. He couldn't feel or see anything apart from them.

One of them was of Spock, during a session a few months ago. He could clearly see his face in front of him, his eyes shining in the dimmed light of his quarters. ''Open your mind,'' the memory Spock said, ''let the exterior flow in it. Let it move in you and take its place around your thoughts .'' Both Jims relaxed, listening to Spock's voice and did as he instructed.

Slowly the memory was pushed aside. Others were floating around, bringing emotions with them. He let them, until he got a hint of Spock. He let his own mind be carried away with it, feeling it form more clearly as he approached what it touched. He was brought directly to his desire for the Vulcan. There he could see it clearly, glowing but thin: Spock's mind, or rather the link to it. He immediately attached himself to it, holding with all his might both their minds mingling together in a link.

His desire was heightened as both felt it together, almost making them drop the link, but they held on.

''For me?'', Spock asked, getting the positive answer as soon as the thought was formed.

''Is it all mine?'', Jim asked in return, awed by the force of it.

''Yes, but doubled so I can feel it too''. The Vulcan stopped making himself feel it but still observed, stayed linked to show the difference. It was not as imposing but was still very strong. ''This is mine'', he said allowing his own desire to cross from behind the walls he'd kept it hidden with, and under control.

Jim was engulfed by it. It was warm, almost too warm. It felt as if it would burn him if he focused too hard on it, but he couldn't let it go.

Spock abruptly drew back in his own mind, all walls back up and secured making Kirk feel painfully hollow before he realised what had happened and came back to his senses, in the present and physical.

''I apologize. I have wronged you and abused your trust. Were we on Vulcan, I could and should be punished for this. You may lodge and official complaint.'', Spock blurted out.

''You mean poking around my mind without my knowledge?'', Jim challenged.

''Yes.'', he answered solemnly, lowering his head.

''It _was_ wrong of you, and you knew it. You're usually the epitome of mores and ethics. So, why?''

''I am deeply apologetic.''

''You said that. Now, why? Why did you do it?''

''You seemed... distressed. I simply wished to ensure your well-being.''

''You could have simply asked.'', Jim reproached.

''I feared you might not answer me truthfully. You have hidden your true state from me before.'', he remarked.

''And you thought you could just get in my head and get the answer by yourself. You didn't think I might have reasons to keep things from you? Or at the very least a right to?''

''I...I had not thought that far.''

''So you wanted something and just went for it. ''

Kirk stood up abruptly.

''Yes.'', Spock sighed.

''Without thinking. On impulse?'' Kirk approached him commandingly, towering over his seated first officer.

''Yes''

Spock refused to look at his captain, keeping his gaze low.

''Impulsivity...Isn't that one of those illogical human characteristics you dislike so much?'', Jim pondered aloud, his tone softening, making Spock snap his head up to look up at him.

''Jim, please.'', he implored, obviously offended, ''I am well aware of my misconduct and sufficiently...distressed by it.''

''Then you don't have a logical explanation for it?''

''No. I do not. As is often true where you are concerned.''

''And is that something that bothers you? I mean, do you want a solution, something to stop that ?'' he asked, treading carefully. This was uncharted territory.

Spock hesitated, pressing his lips in a thin line before answering.  
''Well, in this case, the solution would be to remove myself from the source of the problem.'', he paused letting the meaning sink in Kirk's mind, ''This is not, however, something I am prepared to do.''

Spock looked right into Jim's eyes, conveying his full feelings silently. He would have to admit, he felt the stirrings of nerves inside him. His logic slipping from him when Kirk was around was very tiring and even worrying, but trying to hide was even more tiring. In retrospect, exposing himself was then not an entirely illogical decision.

Kirk's eyes widened, then softened as a genuine smile drew his way into them.

''Well, Mr. Spock, I assure you being occasionally illogical might not be so bad. It can even have some advantages.''

''Indeed?''

''I could demonstrate if you would'', he teased, inching closer over him and well into his personal space.

Spock nodded his consent and Kirk put his lips on his.

At first, nothing happened. It was a simple press of lips on lips, but then it was as if something unlocked. Spock parted his lips and wrapped an arm around Kirk's waist. Kirk pressed closer, harder and balanced himself with his hands on Spock's shoulders, squeezing them.

Spock groaned at the sensation and so did Kirk as his tongue slipped on Spock's.

Jim broke them apart, panting, when Spock squeezed him harder, closer still.

''We should...slow down'', he explained trying to get his breath back.

Spock was looking up at him, dumbly. Dumbly. This had never happened. Knowing he'd caused this by kissing him made him giggle uncontrollably. He was just so cute. Few people would believe him if he told them so, but he knew he was right, had always found him cute, adorable even. All those times he'd get (almost) subtly excited about a new discovery, feign incomprehension or try to act vulcanly insulted, he found him simply adorable.

''I do not wish to be separated from you at this moment'', Spock stated.

''Nor do I''

Kirk gave him his most diplomatic smile and gestured towards the small living room area where only a rug between a fire and a couch stood. They sat each on their side of the couch first, by habit, but as Spock rose his hand between them, Kirk took the hint and met him in a chaste Vulcan kiss. They lowered their hands together, in the same position and simply enjoyed each other's presence and the sound and warmth of the crackling fire before them, content.


End file.
